It’s a sad thing

when you go to work and the first thing your project manager does is look at you and says in a sympathetic voice, “Did you have a final this morning?”

Do I really look that bad? hahaha

Between work, school, discipleship, and other things in life… it’s been… crazy to say the least. I’m definitely thankful for all the opportunities that God has given me 🙂 But I’m also very tired.

This Sunday I went to Cornerstone in West LA – I think it was just what I needed. The pastor spoke about necessity of prayer especially when you have a condemning heart. It’s important to bring all of you, sin, exhaustion, failures, joys… everything to God in prayer. That reminder combined with hearing Joni talk about waking up everyday with a prayer of dependence on God has really helped me get through these last few weeks 🙂

Thanks God. For everything 🙂

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Keep Smiling

Today the lady at the front desk of the building where I work asked me my name. It’s been a little over three weeks and she had never asked before. At first I thought maybe I did something wrong.

She shook my hand and told me that I had a beautiful smile and that I should keep smiling.

That just warmed my heart 🙂

She kind of reminded me of that old video, Validation. Good video.
I hope that I can encourage others through a smile.
I was thinking as well… this smile cost a lot of money hahaha. Guess it was worth it 🙂

Indirectly speaking of validation. I went to city hall today. I found out that the engineering department no longer validates parking. I also forgot to bring my wallet. The $1.50 in my coin purse didn’t even come close to covering the $10.40 parking fee. Bad times.Very embarrassing.

This Time Next Year

My roommate for the last 3.25 years. Yesterday she got a job offer far from me. It just made me think, this time next year, we’ll be in totally different places living totally different lives than we are now… but for now it’s nice having her sit in the desk behind me 🙂

Welcome 2012!

Tehe 🙂 This years favorite present to give out. I now have six little peas on my desk smiling at me.

This last year has been a life changing year. I noticed this morning it was probably the hardest its ever been to make resolutions and God expectations – mainly because I’m not really sure where things are even though I’ve been thinking about them for a long time. I guess the biggest thing coming up now is where God is leading for my next step in life. I don’t feel like I’m 22, or that I’m ready to enter into the “real world”, but by the end of summer the latest I won’t be a student anymore!

My driving verse for this year… and hopefully my whole life was written in my 2011 journal … but I didn’t find it until about half way through so I figured it deserves to be written again to start off the new year… especially since it’s the year where I’ll be going onto the next stage of life where a lot of changing will be happening.

Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

A large struggle for Christians, especially Asians, is to desire riches and high standing – a lot of it a pride issue, a lot of it comes from previous financial struggles or the need to “provide” for you family… which sometimes means an over abundance of riches that can become life consuming. And then of course are the lies. The lies that God does not exist and lies that even if He does exist, our momentary happiness comes before worship of Him. It seems like it’s always the big life changes that bring about extra lies – from middle school to high school where we started to think we were like adults and knew things about life, but we were so immature… then again from high school to college where we met types of people we were not used to and were exposed to ideas that we were not used to and we could make our own decisions about what we wanted to do with our time… and now from college to the working life when we’re really making money and becoming independent and we don’t have the same type of constant support of friends and family. Yup, it’s going to be an exciting year!

A walk through the Erzhausen forests

Today I was to be out on my own. Unfortunately instead of waking early, I got out of bed at around 11:30. After going back to my room (from sending off the missions team) at 4am I wasn’t able to sleep. My body thought that I had finally returned to America and stayed up all night. Poo poo. Plan #1 ruined.

At first I was planning to go into Darmstadt since everyone had been saying Erzhausen was more of a small town than a city. I guess more like a Walnut to LA… or Walnut to anywhere haha. Unfortunately everyone I asked was busy. It’s exam time and everyone is studying, plan #2 ruined (well not completely). I went outside to take a look at Erzhausen. It was quite a nice self-guided tour. Unfortunately, German weather is horrible in that it rains at random times throughout the day. So in between rainstorms I took a walk from one covered bus stop to another.

The fun parts of course were seeing the signs in German, seeing the stores just as I had learned them in class like the Bakerei. I also found this! These interesting looking trashcans set outside of homes. I’m not sure how they work or how efficient they are, but they look really cool, like mini robots ready for action outside of every home. I felt a little strange taking pictures… how would you feel if you walked outside and saw someone taking a picture of your trashcan or your mailbox? Ya – especially since this is a small town and not a place where you might find many tourists.

Then at one point it began to pour so much so that I became discouraged and headed back to my room where it was safe. I decided then that going to Darmstadt might be bad idea because I didn’t have any place to run to over there and I didn’t want to be horribly out of place with my poor German. Instead took another nap because I had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep. When I woke up the sun was shining and I didn’t see any rain clouds! Yay! By this time it was already late so I decided it was better to stay in the area than to go too far away. On the other side of the railroad tracks is a forest that, according to the sign has a trail that is 13km long (multiply that by about 0.6 to get the mileage).  So I decided it would be a good time to try out some camera skills, get a good walk, and get my thinking time in.

It was quite fun getting to walk through the forest on my own. Being in Erzhausen is like being at a retreat 🙂  There were many small paths seemgly going into the forest, but they were closed off. Finally I found an open path and took the road on my own. At first it was fun, but then I started getting creeping feelings like a bear might come out and eat me or a creeper would be hiding in the bushes – totally ridiculous, but I think living in Los Angeles as made me paranoid or something.

Eventually I turned back and returned to the normal path. During my long walk I really thought about myself and about life. It’s a little ironic… paradoxical? Something like that… I really enjoy adventures, trying new things and going out and making the most of everything – like going down dark paths through random forests not knowing where they go or what I will see in there. At the same time I’m a very tentative person because I’m afraid of change and not very confident in myself – I like having all my things organized just so, I was afraid of getting a new laptop… I’m definitely a pack rat because I don’t want to throw away memories or regret the change that it causes later since I can’t take it back.

By the time I walked back it was very far past dinner time. I went ahead and bought a pizza and ventured down to the kitchen by myself. I won’t lie, I’m a bit awkward – especially since I can’t speak German very well and a lot of the people I knew had left. Luckily there was one nice guy who spoke English relatively well.  He helped me cook my pizza. So I had pizza with lettuce for dinner- also sort of my only real meal of the day hahaha.

Just as I was finishing and leaving, another older student began talking to me. That was one of the best conversations I had in Erzhausen – one that I was expecting at Theological seminary and from a German.

We talked about a lot of things – his ideas on the church, a part of his testimony, his view on the German culture. We discussed how culture really influences a church, the problems of church politics, and in general what it’s like for Christians in America and in Germany.

Its interesting that we see common trends in the church no matter where you are. In the same way that the Chinese churches are having cultural troubles, a lot of the churches here are having cultural troubles with the young generation and the old generation. He asked me if our church had worship or if we played praise songs (meaning hymns versus the more contemporary songs). In the same way that so many of us think that a lot of the contemporary Christian music is all fluff he thinks that there’s been a lot of fluff music entering into German worship. I noticed that a lot of fluff songs were English ones. It made sense to me too… I mean, why do you want to sing worship in a language that a lot of people don’t know – and this was for normal worship. We talked about how we love hymns because they convey the gospel and actually have substance and meaning other than feelings and being loved.

We also talked about how the church has become very legalistic so that the Gospel becomes like a trap rather than freeing. The first thing people told him when he became a Christian was that he was sinful and basically listed out all the things that he need to change , but didn’t fully explained to him how the Gospel frees. Instead of being free in God’s love, he was trapped by imperfections  – something common of today’s Christians’ in America. Then it was cool because he shared about how he used to have extreme depression.  However, God spoke to him during that time and brought him out of his depression. The gospel did for him what I believe the gospel should. Christ freed him of his guilt and his pain and  accepted him as he was. He studied the scriptures for himself what was really required of a Christian and what it really meant to be saved by the blood of Christ and not by works or the law. It was interesting to hear because I know of other pastors or leaders who dealt with depression and don’t seem to have completely overcome it. Talking to this guy, I would never had imagined that he would have felt insecure or depressed ever in his life – he was completely transformed and his sin was overcome by Christ and not by his own power.

We also talked about the need for the perfect combination of reading the word and living the life and using the spiritual gifts. A lot of people have too much of one and not enough of the other. Rarely do we find someone who has both.

Then I got to talk to him about his wife whom he only recently legally married (as in the papers are signed) and will ceremonially marry in September! So exciting! It was really cool hearing from him. I asked him what he loved about her because it’s taken them 8 years to get married. I really liked his answer.

Soon it was getting late and the students needed to sleep so they could get up to study… or to go study so that they can sleep during the day hahaha.

Random note: It seems that all countries except America have realized that sparkling cider is super delicious and should be just as accessible as coke. Here is the German equivalent of Manzana Lift hahaha. The German one is less sweet. Sorry I can’t bring any home.

Auf Erzhausen

So E lives in Erzhausen, a small town by Frankfurt. I was given the directions to take the S3 to Erzhausen. Unfortunately, little did I know that the S3 did not connect to the airport. Ok, I can do this. I went to the travel agency and asked for the way. My first time speaking German in a long time… totally butchered – they guy just spoke to me in English. I was given specific instructions to get off of the S8  at the main station or Frankfurt Hbf, walk to the other side and take the S3 to Erzhausen.

Mistake #1 getting off of the first train too early.

There was a sign that said Frankfurt am (main) … something … so I thought that was it… but it was not quite. Apparently several stops begin with Frankfurt am main, but the one I was looking for was specifically Frankfurt Hbf. But I got off am main and was thoroughly confused when I couldn’t find the train I was looking to connect to. I took some pictures of this place, but I can’t seem to find them 😦 Anyway, it was relatively deserted (not what I would think the main station may look like) and small.

Mistake #2, trying to ask for directions in German to someone who didn’t look overwhelmingly friendly. Finally I built up all my courage and went up to someone in my best German. I said excuse me – immediately the lady spurted something and walked away. What a shot to my confidence. But… hey I didn’t want to be lost in Germany forever. So I built up more courage and walked up to someone else. This lady spoke English and clearly didn’t want to wait for me to fight through butchering die Deutsche sprache. She directed me in the right way and I was off.

Riding the train was super fun. Everything outside is so beautiful and green. Everything here definitely feels different than America, which as not what I had expected. From my memories in the past, the cities all seemed like America, just maybe slightly different buildings… maybe like another American city… but no, this is different.

Something I did notice was this feeling of really sticking out for the first time in my life. I’ve been to camps and other places before where I was like 1 of about… 1 Asian before… but I never felt like I stuck out. For some reason this feels different…

1)      On the train ride (approx. 20 minutes) I saw 3 Asians… they were all girls.

2)      I have all these urges to take pictures of things, which would really make me stick out.

3)      I’m obviously a traveler carrying a big backpack and a bag.

4)      I look extremely young comparatively because of my Asian bone structure.

5)      I’m carrying around a little Pooh Bear and a hello kitty water bottle.

Later on my way back to the airport I was waiting to transfer trains. A little German kid was standing a little distance in front of me with his mom. He saw me and started pointing and looking a little amazed. I had a feeling I might be one of the few Asians he’s ever seen. It’s kind of like on our China tour where all the Chinese people wanted to take a picture with the blond kid in our group.

Anyway… something cool I noticed was the way their train doors worked. Instead of opening all doors at every stop, one must give a little tug at the handles or press a button to open a select door and only that door. Good system.

When I got to Erzhausen it was a much smaller town than I had imagined. The school was pretty much across the street. On one side of the railroad tracks was the town and on the other side was a forest.

To my happy surprise, the school is a seminary! I’m currently sitting in on Systematic Theology auf Deutsch in Berӧa Theologie Seminar. Too bad I can’t understand much. I almost wish I took my classes first before coming here so that I would be able to speak and understand more D:

I get to stay in a room by myself that can hold up to 4 guests and it only costs 13 Euro a night 😀 It’s a little lonely, but quite nice.

I’ve already met a lot of wonderful people. Eileen is a pretty outgoing/ popular person around these parts so I’ve quickly gotten to meet a lot of the students. Slowly slowly my German is beginning to return to me. I could understand some of the class and passing conversations.

For dinner Eileen and her boyfriend cooked me a delicious Korean meal. We ate with two of their friends – also a couple. I guess I was like a 5th wheel haha. I was able to practice my German a bit since Eileen’s boyfriend and the other girl don’t know much English.

It’s interesting that there seems to be a lot of couples here. Some of them are already engaged and Eileen’s roommate is getting married next month! It’s quite interesting to get to see how German couples interact. It might better be compared to the Asian culture than the American culture, but I noticed that the couples here are a lot more expressive in their love both in words and in actions. Ya… there’s a lot more hugging, kissing, holding hands, sitting on laps, and spending lots of time together, than I usually see around me at home. They all use very loving terms calling each other our equivalent of darling or sweetheart all the time. They cook and eat almost every meal together… in fact all except one couple I always saw the couples together. I asked that one couple why that was (sort of?) and she said it was so that they wouldn’t be distracted from their studies since they were at school. They were the ones who were getting married soon.

Anyway, the school is quite cute. Everything fits in one building – the classrooms, the teacher and student’s rooms, the student and teacher kitchens, the chapel, etc. They sell food in the school and its all on an honors system in terms of paying. It’s a good thing they do too. I went walking around the city later and there weren’t really restaurants or stores close by. I heard that there was a market, but I never found it haha… of course I was too afraid to turn on any streets since I could have gotten lost and had no one to call after Eileen left for her missions trip.

At night I got to talk to Eileen a little bit and hear about how she had decided to even come to Germany. We were also able to share with each other our heart for missions and the need we saw for God in the areas that were in (Germany and America).

I also got to talk to her briefly about relationships – I’ll keep that information out since it’s a little personal on both sides.

So many exciting things are happening here in Germany!!! Sleep time 🙂

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Prayer and Humility

On Monday, we (as in the graduating seniors on core) shared encouragements and other “wise things” to the new core for next year. This made me reflect on my past two years of ministry on core for AACF. What are the main things I’ve learned about leading? I would say that #1 I learned about prayer. Seeing as how someone else was at first planning on sharing about prayer I decided to choose another that is closely related, humility. Then I found out that person was no longer doing prayer… but my heart had already been reset to humility. So I tried to weave the two together a little. But 5 minutes is not very long to share about humility and prayer in full… so prayer only got a small paragraph. Anyway, I thought I would share in a tweaked version of what I shared.

We as Christians seek to put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of our creator. In other words, we seek to imitate Christ in all that we do. One of the key components of this transformation is the clothing of humility. Especially as leaders, we must humble ourselves before our almighty creator.

“⁹He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.” – Psalm 25:9

Now, I want to encourage you with something. This might not apply to you, but I think it helped me a lot when I went back to think about humility when I first started in ministry with AACF. I’ve seen many Christian leaders succumb to this depressed attitude because of their human sinfulness. I think for a lot of Christians, especially Asian Christians, there’s this feeling that being humble means not talking much, not insisting on our own opinions, and not taking a stand for ourselves, ya know, not thinking that we’re always right… but I think those are misconceptions. I think it’s similar to the theme of women’s ministry this year – to have a quiet and gentle spirit. In the same way that this doesn’t mean that all women should be week and hide in corners, humility doesn’t mean you down play yourself or just say the “right” things. I think there is such a thing as humble strength. If we look to Jesus, we see:

Philippians 2:3-11

³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴ Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

⁵ Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷ but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

And we think… WOW, if Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior made himself nothing, how much less nothing are we! Which is true… but the reaction is not to say “woe is me, I can do nothing for the kingdom of God, I’m just going quietly sit here and not make a scene”. But Christ was not like that! While he humbled himself before the Lord, he was strong in preaching truth. See, people try to learn humility through preoccupying themselves with their sin. We constantly bag on our sinful natures and how we are unworthy. It’s along the same lines of how we look to the cross and we mourn that Christ had to die for our sings, but then we forget to look up and say that “He has risen!”, “He has risen indeed” – we forget that not only die there crucified on the cross, but he also rose again on the third day. Christ defeated sin and we are no longer slaves to it.

The Christian experience becomes beautiful and blessed, when we realize how God is everything in life. We must embrace the sense of being nothing to make way for God to be everything. Through the awareness of our nothingness, we experience the richness of life through God. And this is the essence of true humility.

2 Corinthians 12:9,10

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ‘s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

The important thing is that we are not only week, but God has made us strong.

In these last two years on core, God and God alone has sustained me. Indeed, the secret to writing skits, organizing missions trips, and organizing events is this – prayer. When we come to God in desperate prayer, God helps us to humble our hearts and allow Him to run His ministry. If I were to do things myself, I would make a mess of things. Not only would I make a mess of things, but I would stress myself out, go crazy, and still make a mess of things. I have learned from experience. I encourage you –  pray for your ministry. Not just when there’s an event, not just when you feel stressed, but every week if not every day. If there is no prayer, if there is no reliance on God, then this is nothing more than a campus club and we are doing nothing more than entertaining people. It’s like Will said last week – God doesn’t need us, but it is our joy and privilege to be able to serve and to be able to pray.

I want to let you know that if you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you believe that He died on the cross and rose on the third day. If you believe that He defeated sin, and if you desire to be with Him in heaven and live your earthly life for Him – then you have been made strong. So if you are leading a ministry, in a ministry, or just serving in the way God has called you, then remember – if you feel like you aren’t good enough, if you’re not equip, if you’re not ready, it’s ok because it’s not on you, it’s on Him. And if you feel all the weight on your shoulders because you are burdened with your ministry, then take the time to give the burden to God, because it’s His ministry and not yours alone. You being here means that God has indeed ordained you. That He has given you the authority to lead His ministry.

6am is early…

Even for me.

Although I was tired in the morning, for some reason it was never hard to get up. Through my morning prayers, God was faithful to me as I was faithful to hi. Each morning was a reminder of my commitment, reminder of my own failings, and a reminder of God’s sovereignty. Though in my grogginess I don’t know if my prayers were very “coherent”, but since God knows even the groans of my heart, I can put that word in quotes.

Here now is a summary of how I was blessed throughout the week:

Monday, which I blogged already, was like a wakeup call and reminder that God is my portion. The passages in Proverbs were like BLAM! Look at yourself, your spirit is broken, your heart is burdened, your soul is weary… but here, I AM.

On Tuesday I must admit I could barely stay awake. In fact I don’t think I did stay awake for the whole hour… and though I planned to do work after prayer, I crawled back into bed (this would be a trend continued for all days in which I had 10am class rather than 8am). It was one of those times where no matter how hard I tried o keep my eyes open, it was like my eyelids were heavy. Even as I was reading a line out loud, my eyes were still closing! I’m old. But somehow God still spoke to me. Near the end in desperation I opened my eyes super wide for a few seconds and my eyes locked onto one passage,

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Also on this day I fell asleep in lab and my professor noticed me since there’s only like 16 of us in the class :T I had been pinching my hand to keep myself awake. My hand was red, but I still fell asleep. I wish my friend sitting next to me had tapped me awake earlier, not just so that I wouldn’t get caught sleeping, but so I would have gotten to hear what he was talking about… I missed some good stuff L If you know me, I’m a student to likes to pay attention in class for the most part. Maybe I should clarify to my friends from now on that anytime I’m falling asleep in class or other places, please PLEASE wake me up. I don’t like going to things and falling asleep. The only time I like to sleep in the day is if I purposefully put my head on the desk during the 10 minute breaks in class, on my bed, and on the bus. That’s about it.

Wednesday and Thursday I stayed awake much better, but this time it was a test of how long I could pray for one thing. I must admit, I kind of failed. Not that I couldn’t continue praying for the same thing… but that I just really wanted to pray for other things. Also during these days God revealed to me sin in my heart. It’s interesting that even during a week committed to Him, it’s still possible to try to run away. I realized on these days that there aren’t a lot of sins in my life that I’ve caught that are like… physical sins that I can actually physically stop myself from doing. I mean, I guess at the root of them all, sins come from heart attitudes… though some manifest themselves more physically I guess. But anyway, in these mornings of praying for other things, I was also able to pray for God to help me overcome my sin. Through this time I realized how long it has been since I’ve come to God desperate for Him to change my heart and desires.  It’s good. I believe that sincerely asking God to cleans me and consume my heart so that no sin may enter… and coming before Him humbled knowing that my strength alone is not enough, it’s really putting my faith into practice. Like that one speaker said, actually sitting on the chair that I believed would hold me. And God is faithful.

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

And finally it’s Friday… Friday… finishing up with Friday. Hahaha, I woke up at 6am, and at 7am I went back to sleep 🙂 But yes … reflecting on the week of prayer, I truly have been blessed. There were times when I kind of felt like giving up… no one would really know anyway… but a commitment to God is a commitment to God. And having my yes be a yes and my no be a no has been something I’ve been working on. How fitting 🙂

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows

For Acts and Genesis we went to Answering the Atheist put on by Presence Ministry. Apologetics has always been something that interests me and though I study up on it a lot all that knowledge never seems to help me when explaining things to friends. It’s like everything just goes out the window. I was thinking it might be good to collect all my thoughts on paper (or online) or something so that it will be well prepared and thought out before hand.

I also found another good one to match this idea!

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor be hasty and miss the way

And now I am very tired. Tonight I hope to get a lot of sleep 🙂

Tearing my robes

In the old testament, this seemed a common practice. To come and humble myself before an almighty God, desiring His presence and desiring to know His will … I feel like I should be tearing my robes. Of course though, a friend of mine pointed out that our clothes are probably harder to tear than they were back then, so my efforts might prove fruitless.

But I still think there is something to doing something out of the ordinary in times of desperation. Fasting is something I frequently enjoy. But this time… this time requires something different.

Yesterday Pastor Chan talked about how the Chinese congregations had started 6am prayer meetings to pray for the future of the church and other things. He talked about how directly after, he came under spiritual attack. He got into a pretty bad looking car accident and survived. Truly God protected him because his work for the Lord was not yet done.

Recently I had been talking to a friend of mine about being disciplined in seeking discipline, being accountable for seeking accountability, etc. Now I feel that God is pushing me to extreme discipline. In the situation that I am in, I need to humble myself more than I ever have before and need to seek God’s will more than I ever have before.

And so this week I have committed myself to an hour of prayer and devotion, 6am with the rest of the church to pray for God’s direction. It’s funny because after I decided this I found that this would be academically one of the busiest weeks. And a few minutes ago I found another assignment that is due tomorrow that I had entirely forgotten about. Now, would I call this spiritual warfare? Maybe, I don’t know, but it sure makes my commitment to God a lot harder.

In today’s devotion, verses that spoke most were:

Many are the plans in a man’s heat, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

A man’s spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?

A man lacking in judgment strikes hands in pledge and puts up security for his neighbor.

Post-pi day!

Happy belated pi day!

The yummy homemade pie I received from the friends across the hall while studying for finals (like the concrete design background behind the pies?

Compared to my day of boring, the last two days have been not boring.

Yesterday I was authoritative.
Today I am productive!
(following from my last post)

I helped a friend proctor a final. Pretty cool! I helped print out the packet of papers and bring them to the class. I wrote the time on the board and checked everyone’s ID’s to make sure they were who they said they were. I looked up every once in a while to make sure there was no cheating. I collected the papers as people finished their finals and walked out the door. I also directed all questions to the other proctor. No, I cannot answer questions about peer to peer programming despite my Google sweatshirt.

Today I finished up three classes, which is why I feel entitled now to do something other than work for a little while. This morning I took my final for concrete design. This afternoon our group finished our report of the design of an aerated lagoon waste water treatment plant. And just now my other group printed out our report on pre- and post-fire hydrologic modeling. Tomorrow the goal is to finish my research report. The likely hood of me attaining this goal is slim.

Meanwhile my apartment mate has been sleeping, shopping, sewing, and painting all day. Oh the pain of research papers.

Today I also ate the last of this monstrosity. It is my burnt and dry meatloaf.
Number of meals = 5.
Yes. This is how I eat during finals week.
Time to move to the next meat to eat for the next few days.
I must find a recipe for chicken.