6am is early…

Even for me.

Although I was tired in the morning, for some reason it was never hard to get up. Through my morning prayers, God was faithful to me as I was faithful to hi. Each morning was a reminder of my commitment, reminder of my own failings, and a reminder of God’s sovereignty. Though in my grogginess I don’t know if my prayers were very “coherent”, but since God knows even the groans of my heart, I can put that word in quotes.

Here now is a summary of how I was blessed throughout the week:

Monday, which I blogged already, was like a wakeup call and reminder that God is my portion. The passages in Proverbs were like BLAM! Look at yourself, your spirit is broken, your heart is burdened, your soul is weary… but here, I AM.

On Tuesday I must admit I could barely stay awake. In fact I don’t think I did stay awake for the whole hour… and though I planned to do work after prayer, I crawled back into bed (this would be a trend continued for all days in which I had 10am class rather than 8am). It was one of those times where no matter how hard I tried o keep my eyes open, it was like my eyelids were heavy. Even as I was reading a line out loud, my eyes were still closing! I’m old. But somehow God still spoke to me. Near the end in desperation I opened my eyes super wide for a few seconds and my eyes locked onto one passage,

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Also on this day I fell asleep in lab and my professor noticed me since there’s only like 16 of us in the class :T I had been pinching my hand to keep myself awake. My hand was red, but I still fell asleep. I wish my friend sitting next to me had tapped me awake earlier, not just so that I wouldn’t get caught sleeping, but so I would have gotten to hear what he was talking about… I missed some good stuff L If you know me, I’m a student to likes to pay attention in class for the most part. Maybe I should clarify to my friends from now on that anytime I’m falling asleep in class or other places, please PLEASE wake me up. I don’t like going to things and falling asleep. The only time I like to sleep in the day is if I purposefully put my head on the desk during the 10 minute breaks in class, on my bed, and on the bus. That’s about it.

Wednesday and Thursday I stayed awake much better, but this time it was a test of how long I could pray for one thing. I must admit, I kind of failed. Not that I couldn’t continue praying for the same thing… but that I just really wanted to pray for other things. Also during these days God revealed to me sin in my heart. It’s interesting that even during a week committed to Him, it’s still possible to try to run away. I realized on these days that there aren’t a lot of sins in my life that I’ve caught that are like… physical sins that I can actually physically stop myself from doing. I mean, I guess at the root of them all, sins come from heart attitudes… though some manifest themselves more physically I guess. But anyway, in these mornings of praying for other things, I was also able to pray for God to help me overcome my sin. Through this time I realized how long it has been since I’ve come to God desperate for Him to change my heart and desires.  It’s good. I believe that sincerely asking God to cleans me and consume my heart so that no sin may enter… and coming before Him humbled knowing that my strength alone is not enough, it’s really putting my faith into practice. Like that one speaker said, actually sitting on the chair that I believed would hold me. And God is faithful.

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

And finally it’s Friday… Friday… finishing up with Friday. Hahaha, I woke up at 6am, and at 7am I went back to sleep 🙂 But yes … reflecting on the week of prayer, I truly have been blessed. There were times when I kind of felt like giving up… no one would really know anyway… but a commitment to God is a commitment to God. And having my yes be a yes and my no be a no has been something I’ve been working on. How fitting 🙂

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows

For Acts and Genesis we went to Answering the Atheist put on by Presence Ministry. Apologetics has always been something that interests me and though I study up on it a lot all that knowledge never seems to help me when explaining things to friends. It’s like everything just goes out the window. I was thinking it might be good to collect all my thoughts on paper (or online) or something so that it will be well prepared and thought out before hand.

I also found another good one to match this idea!

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor be hasty and miss the way

And now I am very tired. Tonight I hope to get a lot of sleep 🙂

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