Life

School’s started.

Homeworks piling.

Things are being organized.

Responsibilities resurfacing.

Welcome back to normal life.

My wonderful, cute, considerate, loving, extra-special, curious, probing roommate and I were talking the other day and she asked me a really good question. I can’t remember it word for word, but it was somewhere along the lines of… do you feel restless now that you’re not traveling?

This summer (as you can tell by my previous stream of posts) I was away from home the longest I’ve ever been in my entire life! A whopping 4 weeks! It didn’t seem that long since for a large part of it, I was with my family and its really them that make home, home. But regardless, she was right! Maybe that weird lazy droning feeling was a restlessness in my heart. After weeks of adventure, travel, and experiencing new things, I’m back at our apartment, sitting, studying, organizing.

There are quite a few thingst that have actually added up to this fall quarter starting off on a weird crooked foot.

1. It’s our senior year and everyone seems to be pointing that out
2. For the first time, move in was… it didn’t feel like move in. Lots of our stuff was already there… it was just like I took my sheets home to wash for the weekend. So it’s like a continuation of last year except some of my friends are missing and there’s a bunch of new people around… very excited new people. Too bad I don’t feel that same excitement.
3. I guess because it feels like it just keeps going, it feels to weird to be calling people to meet up because I haven’t seen them in a while. I feel like I just saw them last week… I guess the time out of the country made it feel like the time at home just stood still while I went away and now I’m back and the clock has started again.
4. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…

I guess spending time with my brother makes me want to dream big dreams. He always makes me feel like I can do anything! But then I come back to school and I feel stuck… I feel so limited by programs, deadlines… signing up for the GRE, hearing friends already on track for gradschool, jobs, life seems set. It’s like IB again. There are many paths, but once you choose a path, all the classes are chosen for you. I used to like that. But then I have a hard time choosing a path… so that doesn’t help.

I need to get out of that thinking. There’s so much more time and so much more to life than just what’s in our classrooms and just what’s in set programs.

I’m glad that I get to do a lot of new things with my ministry in AACF. On Thursday I’m going to bake a new kind of cookie. Within the next two weeks I hope to make a loaf of bread.

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